Enzoy's Empty Space ...

MicroSoft사의 모든 애플리케이션의 커널을 이루는 메인 엔진의 소스코드입니다. 감히 웃어 넘길 글이 아닙니다. MS의 성공 비결은 모두 이 안에 들어 있답니다. ^^

#include <nonsense.h>#include <lies.h>#include <spyware.h> /* Microsoft Network Connectivity library */#include <process.h> /* For the court of law */ #define say(x) lie(x)#define computeruser ALL_WANT_TO_BUY_OUR_BUGWARE#define next_year soon#define the_product_is_ready_to_ship another_beta_version void main(){    if (latest_window_version>one_month_old) {        if (there_are_still_bugs)            market(bugfix);        if (sales_drop_below_certain_point)            raise(RUMOURS_ABOUT_A_NEW_BUGLESS_VERSION);    }     while (everyone_chats_about_new_version) {        make_false_promise(it_will_be_multitasking); /* Standard Call, in lie.h */        if (rumours_grow_wilder)            make_false_promise(it_will_be_plug_n_play);        if (rumours_grow_even_wilder) {            market_time=ripe;            say("It will be ready in one month);            order(programmers, stop_fixing_bugs_in_old_version);            order(programmers, start_brainstorm_about_new_version);            order(marketingstaff, permission_to_spread_nonsense);            vapourware=TRUE;            break;        }    }     switch (nasty_questions_of_the_worldpress) {    case WHEN_WILL_IT_BE_READY:        say("It will be ready in", today+30_days," we're just testing");        break;     case WILL_THIS_PLUG_AND_PLAY_THING_WORK:        say("Yes it will work");        ask(programmers, why_does_it_not_work);        pretend(there_is_no_problem);        break;     case WHAT_ARE_MINIMAL_HARDWARE_REQUIREMENTS:        say("It will run on a 8086 with lightning speed due to"            " the 32 bits architecture");        inform(INTEL, "Pentium sales will rise skyhigh");        inform(SAMSUNG, "Start a new memorychip plant"                "'cos all those customers will need at least 32 megs");        inform(QUANTUM, "Thanks to our fatware your sales will triple");        get_big_bonus(INTEL, SAMSUNG, QUANTUM);        break;     case DOES_MICROSOFT_GET_TOO_MUCH_INFLUENCE:        say("Oh no, we are just here to make a better world for everyone");        register(journalist, Big_Bill_Book);        when (time_is_ripe) {            arrest(journalist);            brainwash(journalist);            when (journalist_says_windows95_is_bugfree) {                order(journalist, "write a nice objective article");                release (journalist);            }        }        break;    }     while (vapourware) {        introduction_date++; /* Delay */        if (no_one_believes_anymore_there_will_be_a_release)            break;        say("It will be ready in",today+ONE_MONTH);    }     release(beta_version)        while (everyone_is_dumb_enough_to_buy_our_bugware) {            bills_bank_account += 150*megabucks;            release(new_and_even_better_beta_version);            introduce(more_memory_requirements);            if (customers_report_installation_problems) {                say("that is a hardware problem, not a software problem");                if (smart_customer_says_but_you_promised_plug_and_play) {                    ignore(customer);                    order(microsoft_intelligence_agency, "Keep an eye on this bastard");                }            }             if (there_is_another_company) {                steal(their_ideas);                accuse(company, stealing_our_ideas);                hire(a_lot_of_lawyers); /* in process.h */                wait(until_other_company_cannot_afford_another_lawsuit);                buy_out(other_company);            }        }     /* Now everyone realizes that we sell bugware and they are all angry at us */     order(plastic_surgeon, make_bill_look_like_poor_bastard);    buy(nice_little_island); hire(harem);    laugh_at(everyone,         for_having_the_patience_year_after_year_for_another_unfinished_version);}  void bugfix(void){    charge (a_lot_of_money)        if (customer_says_he_does_not_want_to_pay_for_bugon");     if (still_complaints) {        ignore(customer);        register(customer, big_Bill_book);        /* We'll get him when everyone uses Billware!!*/    }}

--
Sorry, Bill, but I don't do Windows!